A Lesson in Defeat

I have decided to come out and admit defeat in the hopes that it inspires others to throw up there hands and holler, “Yep that’s right I bloody well quit!”.

There is so much to do in 2015 and I have no doubt 2016 will be worse. It’s going to get worse every year until we die I am sure. Now let me clarify something for you. I am not talking about big life goals. No, I am still an adult student, still enrolled at university and still going back next year. What I am admitting defeat over is, “trying to do it all”.

This blog was the first to suffer… I don’t know if you noticed, it’s not amazingly popular after all. It suffered and then it flat lined completely and I would come home after a full day juggling children, school and work to think about it briefly and collapse into a heap in bed. I am pretty sure that the only reason I never got tearful was because crying takes up precious bodily resources that are best left for breathing.

The second thing that suffered was the housework. I tried, I didn’t let bugs come in and we didn’t start using paper plates but I certainly stopped letting ‘non family’ human beings inside and I would have to stop and think before I used the downstairs toilet that the children use. My priorities became obvious health hazards and anything that would smell. I knew what needed to be cleaned but after a while I even stopped making anxiety inducing mental lists.

There were plenty of other things I stopped doing. Here is a list!

  • Wearing make up everyday.
  • Wearing makeup well on the days I did wear it.
  • “Doing” my hair.
  • Watching TV.
  • Folding any sort of laundry. If it’s clean just thank your lucky stars and wear it!
  • Replying to emails, texts and messages on time.
  • Being interesting and fun.

It all seems a bit grim doesn’t it? Not a very good sell for going back to study as an adult? Well there is a lesson in this defeat though and that lesson is that it is totally ok to not cope with everything. I passed my courses. I did my best at my course work and that is what was really important to my family because otherwise this would have been an unprecedented waste of time and money.

You don’t have to have perfect control of everything. Sleeping and being nice to your children when you see them is better than a well ordered life and all the medication you have to take to keep it that way.

This year has taught me to treasure my time out. I have just spent an amazing weekend at home with my husband, no kids, lying on the couch and eating things that came out of a packet. Perfection. I have also been out and about, exploring the world and getting fit. Turns out that I was wasting precious time being perfect and keeping a lovely house.

Quit something today x enjoy life.

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